By Robin Jones
Merry Christmas you crazy comic loving people! Welcome to this, my Papercuts and Inkstains Christmas Special! I was tempted to start listing Christmas themed comics, ala my Halloween special, but decided against it. I was also going to do a countdown of awesome Geeky gifts and presents, but, you’ll see why I didn’t. What I have done is write you all a Marvel twisted Christmas poem, give out some festive awards for my comics of the year and asked you guys a myriad of times what would be your favourite Geeky Gifts for Christmas if money was no object! Have you all seen the Countdown to Christmas sale that Captain Inter-Comics has been running in the build up to Christmas 2013? There’s 50 – 60% off of Trades and Hardcovers, then there’s massive reductions in titles like Punisher Max, X-Men Legacy, Green Lantern, Simon Dark, Northlanders, Blade and American Vampire! There are so many awesome gifts going for such a low price, you would be mad to miss it! Follow this link and get yourself some treats for yourself or presents for your loved ones! Check out all the awesomeness right here!
So, onto the festive fun! let’s stick to tradition here and read you all a Christmas lullaby, with a comic book twist! I decided to give “‘Twas the Night before Christmas” a Marvel twist, so gather up your children round the fire, put on some Bing Crosby and read them this little festive Jackanory…
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the bungalow
Not a creature was stirring, not even a MAGNETO;
The costumes were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the X-MEN soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of danger rooms danced in their heads;
And PROFESSOR X in his chair, and BEAST in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a din,
As SENTINELS from TRASK INDUSTRIES were trying to break in.
Away to the window I flew like QUIKSILVER,
Tore open the shutters and looked to the river.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave off the look of the PHEONIX FORCE glow,
As I looked with telekenisis at what I was seeing
There was a miniature sleigh, pulled by 8 super beings
With a little old driver, so lively and twee,
I knew in a moment it must be STAN LEE.
More rapid than eagles his AVENGERS they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, THOR! now, IRON MAN! now, WASP and HAWKEYE!
On, ANT-MAN! on VISION! on, CAPTAIN AMERICA and THAT INCREDIBLE HULK GUY!
To the top of the porch! And don’t you tremble!
Now dash away! dash away! AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!”
And then, in a pounding, I listened aloof
The fighting of COLOSSUS and JUGGERNAUT on the roof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney WOLVERINE came with a bound.
He was dressed in blue and yellow, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of knives came out of his fists,
And he looked like a hobo, permanently pissed.
His eyes — how they twinkled! beneath a cowl so merry!
The blood on his claws the colours of cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a scowl,
And the beard of his chin was as stubbly as hell;
Through the wall came THE BLOB, shouting “Good grief!”
And the brick dust encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a round face and a huge round belly,
That shook, when he shouted like a bowlful of jelly.
With a punch and a thump, Wolvie damaged his health,
And I laughed when I saw this, in spite of myself;
A BAMPF in the dark and a NIGHTCRAWLER on his head,
Soon let me to know I had nothing to dread;
The X-Men spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
But were soon hampered by DEADPOOL attempting to twerk,
Wade laid his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, and stared out this book
And eyeballed at you reading, and gave you a look
And I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“MY COMMON SENSE IS TINGLING, TIME TO BLOW SHIT UP TONIGHT!!”
Now, instead of giving you a new years run down of “Awards” I would give out if I had money/contacts/a conference hall/Matt Fraction’s little black book or actual awards for the new years, I’m planning something different, so what I will do is give you a run down of my favourite Graphic Novel of the year, best on-going series and favourite story arc. There will also be a mention of my favourite Indie Comic which I have read/reviewed as well. So put on your little black dresses ladies, and men straighten that dickie bow, it’s the Papercuts and Inkstains “Best of the year” mentions!
Best Graphic Novel: David Hine and Doug Braithwaite’s “Stormdogs” from Image.
I was fortunate enough to go to Thought Bubble festival in Leeds in the last weekend of November this year and got to meet David and Doug Braithwaite, noted artist who has had drawing duties for probably every major character the big two have produced, as they were in the main hall. Initially I just wanted to say thank you in person to David (For his interview in a previous post) but, and happily so, I bought one of his latest releases Storm Dogs, published by Image. I then got it signed by both artist and writer,then left to pursue alcohol and chicken with my Fiancee. Little did I know, that Storm Dogs would keep me reading through til 3am on a night where I had to get up at 6am the next day. I physically couldn’t put it down.
It’s a cerebral comic that gets you thinking, mixing equal parts sci-fi, western, horror and detective story. The sci-fi element of aliens, strange fauna and flora, symbiotic lifeforms, deadly weather systems and ancient organic telepathic links conjure up, in this readers mind, strong links to the glorious Sci-Fi epics of the 1980′s such a Dune, Alien and Total Recall. Doug Braithwaite’s aliens are humanoid yet striking different, the Elioths are placid and subservient, yet hide a devastatingly dangerous past, his native landscapes are harsh and unforgivable, which strikes a chord with the grizzled prospector angle Hine uses throughout the story.
Read this book. Buy the trade and read it. Then wait patiently for Season Two. It’ll be worth it!
Best On-Going Series: Dan Slott’s “Superior Spider-Man” (Contains Spoilers if you haven’t read SSp-M)
Dan Slott. You tricksy Hobbits you. What Slott has done is take the nicest, most likable character in the Marvel universe, a character we could all relate to, since he was a flawed human character, and has ripped that from us! Peter Parker is no more, the Amazing Spider-Man is no more. What we have is SpOck. The Superior Spider-Man, and I will be honest. I hate SpOck, but the series is just so compelling, so riveting, that it has become my favourite on-going series! SpOck’s mandate to be superior to Peter Parker in every aspect of his life is both brilliant to read and devastating at the same time. Everything Peter built, which may not have been a lot, but was a bastion of morality, was destroyed. MJ, Spidey killing Massacre, his reliance on Spider-Bots, Henchmen and Spider Island. (Version 2.0) It’s Spider-Man but not as we know him.
And do you know something? It’s like crack. I need to find out where it’s going. I relished in seeing the destruction of Shadowland and Kingpin having to fake his death and the dark tinged tale of the death of the Spider-Slayer was another masterstroke in storytelling. All the while bubbling under the surface, we have the Green Goblin, self-professed Goblin King, building an undetectable army in the sewers of New York. It is building to something huge, and Slott, who has written some of the best Spidey story lines of recent memory is perfect to lead the way. It is unmissable and entirely worthy of being my best on-going series. I also sincerely hope Peter Parker comes back and it ends in a duke out between SpOck and our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man… time will tell. Let’s all keep reading it!
Best Story Arc: Jason Aaron’s “Godbomb” in “Thor: God of Thunder”
I love heavy metal. Vikings kick ass. Norse Gods are the most bad ass Gods of all. I also like Thor. A lot. And so, to my great surprise, my wonderful Fiance bought me Thor: God of Thunder “The God Butcher”. I read it instantly and was hooked. So hooked I had to buy the second vol, ”Godbomb”. It was the most Heavy Metal comic I have read. Battles between Gods, a bomb build specifically to destroy all the universes immortals, a time travel event that makes perfect sense (Looking at you Age of Ultron…no…no…) and best of all…three…yes, three different Thors. Young Thor, Heroic age Thor and old, embittered, one armed Thor who is the last of the Gods at the back end of the universe.
This arc had me gripped, utterly gripped. I’ve read this and “The God Butcher” at least five times now. It is stunning, I mean where else will you see Thor riding a space shark into battle, all while cursing it to go faster. Esad Ribic’s art is beautiful throughout, and the battles are frenetic, huge in scope and a glory to behold. It is more than worthy of my “Favourite Arc Award”! Now Jason Aaron and Esad Ribic, deliver us ANOTHER!
Spirit of Independence Day (With Will Smith punching that Alien in the face bit…I love that bit) Award: Colin Bell and Neil Slorance’s Dungeon Fun from Dogooder Comics
Welcome to Earth…
This comic blew my mind. It was the Pixar film of comics. Aimed at kids, with language and visual jokes adult would appreciate, Dungeon Fun was my pick of Thought Bubble festival, I was the first person to review it and i count this as a true honour and blessing. If you read my review, you’ll know I found it immeasurably fun and clever. Colin Bell and Neil Slorance deliver a comic that works on so many different levels, a strong female lead, very funny support characters and a story with a lot of depth and warmth. There are comic creators who have worked years to try and achieve what Bell and Slorance have achieved in their first major release. My children love it, Charlotte; loves it, our cat; loves it. Do yourself a favour and buy this book. You won’t regret it I promise, if only for the tragedy of Muddy Stickarms….
And so ends my “Awards”, there’s no drunken celebrity punchups or obese Lenny Kravitz lookalikes vomiting in a plant pot, so it ends thus. However, What I wanted to finish on was what I initially wanted to focus on. Geeky Gifts. Instead of me preach at you over what cool geek gifts I would want, I wanted to hear what you, the reading public had to say! Well, in true Papercuts style, here you go…these are your suggested Geeky Gifts…Check em out…look…stop reading this and read them!
Brent Rome @rome_brent – a comics spinner rack
Dr PaJi @DrPaJi – I’d like all the Walking Dead TPB
K.J Stewart @KevJStewart – The most enormous, expensive Doctor Doom statue/bust that money can buy. Actually, I know I suggested a big Dr Doom statue, but my mind is changed. I want Sif. Not a statue of her – actually Sif.
Sean Favager @Seanfav1 – Gwen Stacy would be nice or Black Widow (Johansson Version) or world peace and for Rick to stop being a bad gimp on Walking Dead and fucking do something! Plus, to have my xmas dinner and then have Adam West narrate Dark Knight Returns to me.
Adam Snape @AdamJSnape – A Harrison Ford “Han Solo” DL-44 Blaster from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back & Return of the Jedi, a Spider-Man chunky knit jumper and personalized Superhero Action figures
James Kirk @jamesk1990 – Best geeky gift ever would be that replica 66 batmobile thats going round on the internet for like 200k haha
Kieran @vintagelaureate – How about a new chair for the garden? A replica Iron Throne from Game of Thrones…
Dan @BrumsNightwing – A replica of Mjolinr.
Just Like That @YourSweetVenom7 – Real spiderman web shooters and The Tumber from Nolans Batman no one going mess with me or get pulled over XD (cant drive tho haha)
Ian Nesbit @i_nesbot – A replica Cap shield of course 
AARON JEDI KNIGHT @HANNIBALPB81 – A thermal detanator replica
Rob Richardson @robbrichardson – Green Lantern Ring. An ACTUAL Green Lantern Ring
David Payne @littlechief1982 – The sweat off Yvonne Strahovski’s brow. #Chuck #GeekGift
Bottle City of Kanga @bottlecitykanga – Lego Death Star
kara @Kryptonkara – I am still needing two lightsaber lamps for above my bed. Got a whole Star wars bedroom going on 
Michael Sambrook @Rapiaghi – A plethora of shit Batmobiles…. Budget, botch job, mobility bat shufflers
Homespun @_homespun – Easy a musac bag so i can be like the guy from Moon
Uproar Comics @Uproar_Comics – We’d like Sting so we can tell when Orcs are about, and be really cool obviously 
It would also be handy to ward off our enemies, namely those pesky Zombies that roam our corridors O.O
ElDisturbo @TonyGrnlntrn715 – A Batman cape. 1966 style… (I asked which Cowl…) So hard… To choose… Between cowls… Dastardly fiend…Keaton cowl… Would clash… But… Favorite… Fashion… Problems…or… Go… With…. Complete Zur-En-Ah…I have…. Problems…. Bat problems….. Cue CSI music
Matt Saviker - I would love a temperature controlled room for the comics with a display wall for statues with custom lighting……..and I want it filled lol
Ricardo Azevedo - mine would have to be every issue with green arrow
Cameron Bell - a fully operational death star
jeremy smith @The5thRobin – A SWAMP THING FIGURE!!!!!!
Jason Webb™ @jaybwebb – Dude I want that capullo joker statue so bad! Not looking likely at the minute but god damn I’m gonna get one! Mine is actually useful geeky, I need Microsoft office, but fun geeky I almost always get completely geeky things! I really WANT anything major, I try to concentrate on buying the kids geeky things, got my middle girls a TMNT comic book maker. I would also like to get that sandman ultimate collection, that would be awesome!
Shaun Balliah - Iron man armour.
Freeland Costin - An infinity gauntlet that works. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t pick on you guys. That or somebody could get me Michelangelo.. Somehow… However On a serious note, nunchucks, a bo staff, two katanas and two sais would make a happy girly. Not that I’d be able to use them or anything.
Michael Patrick Kane - Adamantium skeleton complete with retractable claws!
Daniel Cole - A blue Lantern ring so I can inspire Hope in the DC Universe again. Or perhaps a deluxe hardcover of Private Eye.
Katy ‘keith’ Armstrong - A real life hawkeye bow complete with boomerang arrows!
James Gibbons - Fully working, to scale personal assistant Sentinal! Ha ha ha
Scarlett ‘whorebiscuit’ Woodward - my first thought was the full size sammael statue from guillermo del toros house!…..but concidering we dont have our own place i should be abit more sensible…..so…..ummm….yeah! guillermo del toros house with contents please! Lol
Duggi Douglas - Original Jack Kirby or Mike Mignola art.
Russell Hagan - I’d love Cyclops visor, (but with my prescription lenses in!). Coolest sunglasses ever.
Shannon-aggins @CakeOSaurusRex – I would build my boy and I a life size Ewok village in the woods. Everyday could be the battle for Endor…..:)
Steve Tasteslikedoom Fable - A replica Iron Man suit, all the DC Bombshell figures, my old comic collection back from 6 years ago when I was broke and had to sell it Oh and a MacBook with Adobe Illustrator
kirke novak @kirkenovak – The entire set of Big Fish’s Mass Effect action figures. Legion would hold baby Jesus
I spoke to all the indie comic creators I’ve featured in posts this year, in both “Hipster Hipster Shake” posts, and here’s what ideal Geeky Gifts they’d love this Christmas!
Sam Read @bronzetrex – Breaking Bad Complete Box Set. Job done.
Neil Snowrance @osmart – The Deadpool head desk tidy…
Colin Bell @colinbell – I’ll take subscriptions to The Phoenix & 2000ad plz thx
Reynard VanFoxwinkel @ReynardCity – For me the ideal #GeekyGift would be a year long cinema pass!
Adam Cheal @AdamCheal – Walking Dead Monopoly.
Dan Butcher @VanguardComic – erm, I would honestly love it if someone bought me a replica Batmobile from the Tim Burton era one sold recently at Historics Auctions - obviously, I’d have to have a Batsuit made too – heh
Luke Halsall @LJHalsall – The doctor who missing episodes for power of the Daleks
Joe Martino @jgmcomics – A #JudgeDredd helmet.
Brandon Rhiness – That’s hard. I’d have to say a life-size statue of the Punisher. I was also blessed with the good fortune of having a few well known comic creators give me their best Geeky Gift ideas for Christmas! All the guys on here were a pleasure to talk to and I appreciate their input massively!
Joe Caramagna @JoeCaramagna (Ultimate Spider-Man, Agents of SMASH) – GEEKY gift? I want the new iPad Air and a @Comixology gift card
PJ Holden @pauljholden (2000AD, The 86ers) – Like every Christmas, all I want is time alone to draw (it’s the one gift I never get!)
David Hine @HineDavid (Stormdogs, Spider-Man Noir, Civil War X-Men) – Sounds like reverse payola! You can buy me a pint next time you see me Thought you were playing real-life Santa there
Young Marvelman Annual from 1960… I had that Annual when I was a kid and lost it somewhere. Been looking for it ever since…
Alex Maleev @alexmaleev (Daredevil) – Mario kart.
J Michael Straczynski @straczynski (Amazing Spider-Man, Thor, Superman) – A lifesize replica of the C-57D Starcruiser.
Sean Gordon Murphy @Sean_G_Murphy (Punk Rock Jesus, The Wake) – There’s a Stormtrooper statue where he’s leaning on a speeder. Always dug that one!
So…erm… there we go. I’m sure Santa would have a tough job giving up these gifts himself. However, that’s all folks! This just leaves me to say to you all, thank you for reading and sticking with me. Have a merry Christmas and a happy new year, I hope you get your Geeky Gifts and I shall see you all in the new year!
Until next time…
For more comic views and reviews follow Robin on Twitter at @Hulksmash1985
Posted on December 21st, 2013
Category: Blog, NEWS & VIEWS, PAPERCUTS AND INKSTAINS VOL. 2, REVIEWS
Tags: comics, DC Comics, Geek Gift Ideas, marvel, Robin Jones, Super hero presents